To Write and To Read

To write, is a very sensitive thing I've ever realized. Menulis itu penuh sama pikiran-pikiran yang--mostly--enggak tau datang darimana, kepingin aja gitu nulis. The sensitivity, the appeals, the challenges to write gak ada matinya di dunia ini. Banyak banget hal yang bisa ditulis, banget. I always adore people who write, those authors.., those novelists, pembuat artikel di majalah-majalah, aren't they very experienced in so many things? Dan orang-orang yang punya banyak kisah / pengalaman / beribu-ribu kata di otaknya yang bisa mereka tuang ke dalam sebuah tulisan itu menurut aku..incredible, menarik banget. Mereka punya banyak kisah yang bisa mereka interpretasikan ke layar ataupun kertas kosong. I simply adore them. Too many things about their words to appraise, and people who write are forever alive.

And here comes to it. My all time favorite author, Ika Natassa. There's this kinda short story she's newly written, "Critical Eleven", and its best quote.

This is about two people, a man and a woman, who happened to accidentally meet in an airplane. One time this girl named Tanya spoke up about her hatred of Jakarta. And the man answered, "Aku nggak benci Jakarta, aku suka. Macetnya, padatnya, polusinya, berjam-jam di jalan..." with an unpredictable elaboration, he smartly continued, 

"Serius, Nya. Karena di Jakarta semua orang berada in the state of trying. Trying to get home, trying to get to work, trying to make money, trying to find a better sale, trying to stay, trying to leave, trying to work things out. Karena itu, buatku, Jakarta is a labyrinth of discontent. Dan semua orang, termasuk aku dan kamu, setiap hair berusaha untuk keluar dari labirin itu. The funny thing is ketika kita hampir berhasil menemukan pintu keluarnya malah ketemu hambatan lagi, pulling us back into the labyrinth. Kita justru senang karen a enggak perlu tiba di titik nyaman. It's the hustle and bustle of this city that we live for."

Alright, this is not about all this Jaaaaakartaaaa things I'm telling, not about the traffic, the pollution, the busyness, the kind of people dan semuanya, this is all about what Ika Natassa personally wrote. You see--the picture of Jakarta we imagine right as we read what the man was telling? That's exactly the thing I like soooo much about her, how she manages to write it all so the readers, us, can easily picture Jakarta in our heads. Emang, gak cuma Ika Natassa satu-satunya penulis yang bisa buat para pembacanya 'mengkhayal', tapi menurut aku she's the most surprising one. Penulis lain yang juga tulisannya 'gampang sampai' ke pembaca, contohnya Sitta Karina, kind of surprising too.

Aku sempat bercita-cita jadi penulis, but once I remember that it was my dream, aku selalu ngeyakinin diri aku bahwa jadi penulis itu bukan sesuatu yang harus aku paksain. Menurut aku, jadi penulis itu dilihat dari seberapa banyak diri kita suka menulis, sejauh mana kita bisa nuangin semuanya into structured beautiful words. At least, people who write--I wish--could be considered writers :"p ...but who am I to say? :D

See? To write, and to read, are simply amazing.. spontaneous. We will never know where our heads bring us to, and what thoughts they indirectly force us to think. 

Try out, try out, try out..

I really am working on these tiring weeks to be prepared when National Examination comes. But an escape came out yesterday with my two lovely, talented girls and one big smile the whole day from me!  These pictures below are #behinditall :)

Hai. Inget pas aku bilang I needed a new distraction? IT IS FOUND.

Pada tau @officialwordnes? @Wordnesday? Wordless Wednesday? Namanya agak-agak pusing dibaca ya memang. Awalnya mau April Acoustic karena gak sengaja kebentuknya di bulan April (akhir) dan formatnya akustik --vox, kajoon, guitar, bass. Tapiiii ternyata nyantumin format yang connected ke nama seperti itu beresiko juga, bakal terbatas pilihannya dalam mainin genre lagu. Sempet juga ada usul Evening Moonlight. Bagus sih, suka banget, girly sekali. Tapiiii ternyata setelah dipikir-pikir kok kayak nama band anak-anak SMP.., dan kayaknya gak enak aja nanti disebutnya 'anak emoon ya lo?' 'band lo emoon ya?'.. Jadiii diganti lagi. Sempet juga ada usul pake bahasa-bahasa belanda hahaha. Dan besokannya temen sekelas aku nyeplos, 'eh wordless wednesday aja tuh,' 'hah?? worthless?!' 'wordless, Sya, pake d. Kekurangan kata gitu intinya,' akhirnya....ya itu. Tapi karena kepanjangan, jadinya diganti Wordnesday. Sampe sekarang gak ngerti maksut dan artinya tuh apa. Setiap ditanyain sama MC pembawa acara pensi atau acara stage gitu, selalu awkward moment pas ditanya meaning dari nama itu dan kita selalu diem sebelom akhirnya 'gak ada arti apa-apa sih, suka aja,' hahaha.

Alhamdulillah tawaran job banyak, seperti perform di acara birthdays, acara-acara lain yang susunannya lebih ke dinner, atau private show dan semacemnya. Sempet nyoba audisi pensi-pensi sekolahan, dan event-event yang SMA-SMA di Jakarta like Saturday Stage SMAN 68 Salemba dan semacemnya.

I never thought I could make this, tau? I've been growing up dreaming to sing with the audiences, singing and dancing along, greeting the audiences with smiles and eye flings, attract them to sing loud and excitedly, banyak deh. Nyoba-nyoba buat lagu nuansa RnB / soft pop-jazz / pop alternative yang dulunya 'mandek' sekarang lancar selancar lancarnya krn bantuan teman-teman yang suka bermusik dan punya pandangan &aliran yang sama. Rasanya...puas :D

I stopped singing once, for an unworthy reason I can say. And I'm saying and promising to never stop again, until forever. :)

LET'S FOLLOW @Wordnesday!! yeayyyy ;D

People get disappointment when they expect. Mau cuma 'a lil bit expecting' or 'expecting too much' menurut gue sama aja. And when they trust someone and that person destroys or breaks the faith, they get disappointments, also that fear of trust. Ya ga sih? Or am I just being over-demanding? Gak tau lah.

Sometimes, bingung ya mau nentuin jadi orang yang 'baik', orang yang 'biasa-biasa aja', apa orang yang 'kadang baik kadang jahat'. Being 'bad person'? Really not a thing even a minute I would think of.

Disappointment belakangan ini sering banget datengnya. Selalu ada aja di tiap-tiap masalah, disappointed karena inilah, itulah, yang kaya gini lah, yang kaya gitu lah. Kebanyakan disappointednya tau gak. Dan gatau ya, menurut gue orang-orang yang kebanyakan dapet disappointment itu malah kebanyakan mereka-mereka yang baik dan gak macem-macem, mungkin orang-orang kayak gitu kaliya yang short-minded (in a good way of meaning, of course) yang akhirnya gampang percaya sama orang yang sama sekali ga dipikir would got them disappointed.

And quotes to self: don't easily trust, even when you get a hundred reasons why you should be. don't expect, even when you have the least of it.